Tagged: catalog

It was “Big Lebowski” if you were curious

First of all, portrait of an outside sales representative. “Hollywood” Hale films his outside rep video introduction as Adam fights the urge to strangle him. Same old Andy…

(Garrison Keillor-ish voice over)

“Well, it’s been an exciting week at Lake Hawleygon. The last pockets of ice and snow have finally melted and the apple cheeked children are back in school reading from their grammar primers in an eerie unison that chills your soul to the bone. Local sausage maker Mister Gargamelli stands on the street corner gesticulating wildly as he screams about the impending killer bee invasion while a befuddled Teenwolf learns the importance of eating with your mouth closed. Herds of antelope graze lazily on a grassy hillside overlooking a rendering plant as a mushroom cloud of buffoonery envelopes our state house grounds. Crickets have gained the power of speech. It is a time for bootleg Chinese DVD vendors hawking their wares in Guillotine Square as their helper spider monkeys steal eggs from the local egg cobbler. It also a time of catalogs. Print catalogs. Time-honored monoliths made in honor of the 17,000 parts contained within a giant warehouse deep within the misty moors of Red Bank. We residents of Lake Hawleygon sing the praises of the catalog and because of its publication and release to all good and righteous independent bicycle dealers, a bloodbath-free harvest is guaranteed this Fall.”

Now available with pricing and without. Consult your sales representative or jump online and click on CATL1050 or CATL1055 to order. Just so you’re not too confused, a la Ted Stevens (RIP) in mid-filibuster, the random blurbs you see throughout the catalog are factoids about important events that happened in 1986, the year Hawley was born. For example, see below:

That’s right. Hands Across America. STILL relevant 25 years later! Booyah. The final person in the chain? A pirate with a hook on his left hand.

2011 Catalog Meeting: Pobody’s Nerfect!

The combined forces of the graphics department and product managing department assembled this morning in a Voltron fashion as we prepped for the start of the 2011 catalog. Most other distributors are or have already done this so this isn’t new to you, but for those wondering what it takes to put out an 800 page catalog with 20,000+ parts, here is a photographic flow chart detailing the oft shrouded-in-secrecy process…

First, the parts are organized and photographed and in a huge group so we don’t have to show them individually. Here is last year’s shot. Headset spacers are clearly visible on row 78b:

Then, we enter all the parts into the world’s fastest computer, which is powered by the unconditional love of a child for his pony, a pony named Burt Reynolds:

After the computer stuff, the entire process is given the seal of approval by resident sorcerer, Dennis Galbraith, head copy editor:

Then the universe is created:

Then a small snack with office coworkers as we discuss our never ending fear of Dennis the copy editor:

Then you get a catalog of a bike brand from 1985. It’s just that easy people:

By the way, Midlands SORBA formation/organization meeting is happening! Hawley was an underwriter of the last IMBA Summit (we coughed up the big bucks!) so anytime IMBA/SORBA want a get together, we must acquiesce. Please mark the date of October 19th on your calendar and bring as many people as you can. This could be big people! BIG I TELLS YA, although not sure how I feel about the “You belong with us!” tagline which is a little too Borg-ish for me. That is all. Have a frank and productive weekend.