Child Labor Laws… We Don’t Need No Child Labor Laws

For those who don’t know, Doug’s niece Olivia (although it could be O’Leary, I didn’t really hear her) spent the week working at Hawley. For legal reasons, she didn’t really work, but for blogging reasons, let’s just say we put her small hands to good use extricating bobbles and trinkets from our jammed office wood chipper. God bless that chipper. In addition to O’leary’s arrival , we also added Gates beltdrive components to our hallowed warehouse. We now have every component you need to turn your crummy chain driven bike into a beltdrive wunderkid. You just need to apply hacksaw to seat stay and don’t stop, believin’!!!! Have a frank and productive weekend…

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Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

Everybody has to follow the rules because without them, it’s suddenly “Lord of the Flies” around here and the next thing you know, a mustachioed Jeff Rickard (accounting) clad in a loincloth made of zip ties and Masterlinks, is roasting a product manager over a fire, fueled by his collection of dystopian sci-fi novels. Apparently in Norfolk, VA, there are no rules (and consequently, the Jeff Rickards of Norfolk are feasting on human flesh this evening) and everybody is free to drive their SUV’s on pedestrian paths. That’s not necessarily true, but a cyclist was creamed by a VDOT contractor the other day and while both parties kept their cool, it appears the contractor won’t be prosecuted. Enjoy your charbroiled hobo corpses, mustachioed citizens of Norfolk! Here’s the footage…

In other news, the World Cup started and like a lot of my coworkers, Bloggy has World Cup fever. Sweaty, heart palpitations, and lots of ____ (redacted). In honor of the Cup starting, let us not forget our old colleague (inside sales) and huge soccer fan Troy and his stylish and provocative wardrobe. Here’s some nightmare fuel for you:

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HAPPY TRAILS CLAYTON

After a successful run in our inside sales department, the tallest person I’ve ever met has called it quits. So long Alonzo Mourning, 7 time NBA all star, we will miss you. In other news, our second tallest employee ever Clayton is leaving our inside sales department in search of greener pastures… to feed his insatiable need for lawn grass smoothies. It gives his skin a lustrous gleam and softens his tempestuous stool. His sickening tastes and stool aside, Clayton has been a great coworker and a patient if not bewildered friend. Many times Bloggy has invaded his barren cubicle in search of answers to questions that no one should ever ask. These questions Clayton will take with him to his new home in Greenville and eventually, the grave. Whoa, this just got extraordinarily dark. OK buddy, happy trails, everybody is going to miss you! Have a frank and productive weekend!

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From Zero to Giro

Purchasing manager JBK went to Italy to visit with our good friends at Northwave, but also spent some much needed vacation time eating, drinking and swearing like a native Italian. JBK can’t give you directions to your hotel in Italian, but he can suggest several colorful ways of inserting/doing horrible things in/to yourself and family members utilizing a variety of colorful Italian idioms and phrases! JBK being a thoughtful and caring type brought Bloggy a really cool office chair koozie from the Giro. It keeps your chair clean and let’s everybody know where your Grand Tour loyalties stand…

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Midlands Ride Of Silence

Yesterday was the Midlands Ride Of Silence. A ton of riders showed up to honor those injured or killed in cycling related accidents. Tim Malson from local shop Summit Cycles did a ton of work arranging the logistics for the group ride through downtown Columbia. The event went off without a hitch. Let’s hope one day there won’t be a need for this ride…

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