The ride finished up and everybody parked in this weird formation, like the old dance line on Soul Train, or that’s what it felt like as I rolled by everybody. As usual, Lane ain’t much for conforming and stood his ground in the middle. You can see that accursed food truck on the left! (fist shake)

Brian (Shimano product manager, sarcasm) has found a helmet that fits his skull. Yes, this is a day for celebration. Let’s look to Phil (IT hefe, coffee roaster) for the celebratory balloon and peanut butter brittle. Huzzah!

By the way, Bloggy had second thoughts about the new, super-antiseptic look of the blog’s layout but product managers Matt and Patrick (both huge Ludwig Mies van der Rohesaid fans) said they’re really digging the white so it looks like we’ll stay with it for the time being! Minimalism forever!

Learn more about Hawley’s Pacific Northwest rep courtesy of Adam’s lovely camera work…

Anthony, our man in Sparks, aka, West Coast Hawley, sent this brief write-up of Lynn, our warehouse boss, and his half marathon shenanigans:

ALERT!!! local hard man Lynn Mcgee (aka the guy who get’s it done in Sparks) blazes trail to a sub 2 hour half marathon yesterday morning!  Despite the frigid start (upper 30′s) at 7am in the morning Lynn had the theme song to Rocky pumpin’ in his ipod and a look of determination fitting an Olympian from Kenya! Let’s welcome Lynn Mcgee to the elite under 2 hour club for half marathoners!

Well done Lynn! Let’s all welcome you to a club made up of masochists and cyborgs the world over, and I’m not talking about Mariners fans. In honor of your glorious achievement, I present you a brief film about an awesome vintage BMX shop in Portland Oregon…

Greetings and salutations gentle reader. A brief rumination today on “what constitutes child abuse”. Don’t let the question posed fool you as I wondered this aloud during Adam’s crit race last Friday. On the second lap of the 4/5 race mixed amongst the heaving masses was a figure I mistook for some breed of Raphaelean angel or perhaps something conversely nefarious, a Gremlin or Troll Doll. This “child” was sitting second wheel driving the peloton’s pace with the unwavering cruelty of a being far older than its physical appearance. The men, oh how they suffered under his tyrannical machinations that afternoon. Well versed in cruelty, neuromancy and Asheville drum circles, I recognized the distinct Industry Nine kit and assumed this “child” was simply and transmogrified Drew Hager sandbagging before the start of the 2/3 race. Before I could put my suspicions to rest with a Scooby Doo-styled mask removing of the erroneous “child” rider, I was forced to extricate a companion who found himself sitting in a public fountain. Ah, the joys of the 4/5 race! The final sprint turned into a massacre as a young racer from College Of Charleston got the jump on the older folk and eased to the victory. I even liked his “Don’t blame me” victory pose. Chapeau!

I nicknamed the child rider, Dr. Murder…

I had trouble finding Adam amongst the rabble until I saw #GETRAD. Easily the best “bibmessage” in the race…

A flat tire, an unnecessarily stopped race bike and a 2/3 going the wrong way on course during the race. What is this, Amateur Hour At The Apollo?!

Perfectly good bike lane that nobody bothers to use. Sheesh, cyclists!

To the victor go the spoils and perhaps the sweaty old race judge waiting to clothesline him…

                                          (Bike to Work PSA, circa 2009)

For those of you planning to join your favorite Hawleyites at our annual Bike To Work Rally, pay careful attention. The Rally date is now May 24th. MAY 24th!!! Write it “in the sky in gossamer teardrops”, May 24th. Speaking of biking to work, inside sales newbie Vanessa joined Yatch, Dana and Tony Stone for a leisurely commute home yesterday. Well, Yatch’s bike was lined up with the other three but I know for a fact he lives in the opposite direction. Who knows, maybe he’s renting out a downtown bungalow? Since I’ve befriended Yatch on Facebook, I’ve learned all sorts of alarming things about my most honorable coworker (he’s a Cowboys fan?! Egads). Vanessa lives downtown near Dana and the latter was kind enough to show the former the proper, bike lane-centric commuter route to work. Ah, the old route. I remember it well. I had some good times in those debris-strewn bike lanes (insert flat repair pic here, here and here). So to recap, the rally date is now MAY 24th.

In news of other masses of cyclists gathered in single-mindedness, Bloggy ran up to Pisgah Saturday morning to watch Hawley graphic designer ace Josh attempt his first PMBAR. For those of you not in the know, you and a teammate race to reach four out of 5 checkpoints (5 checkpoints gets you a time bonus) in Pisgah. The required equipment list is pretty long and the amount of water and calories you want to take means a dominated pack, unless you’re Dicky and can do a packless PMBAR, a logistical feat in its own right. Josh’s pack was dominated as the photo illustrates. His partner Kelly had an equally dominated pack and in the end, PMBAR dominated them both as they DNF’d. Naturally Josh has reassured Bloggy a return trip next year to take care of the unfinished business. Now that’s how you script a sequel! Rocky didn’t knock out Apollo Creed in “Rocky” but in “Rocky II” he came back and knocked Apollo’s head clean off of his neck, the head flies through the air and lands in the lap of Apollo’s wife, where a dying Carl Weathers exhales “I got served baby” as the end credits begin to roll.

Josh’s dominated pack

Off-limits trails are in red.

This lady in pajamas on a cruiser bike showed up to the start line. Don’t hate the game.

The Giro is fast approaching and those of us in the office are starting to get nervous. Tipper hasn’t paid the $19.99 to stream the Giro and seems intent on pretending he doesn’t know what Bloggy is talking about when I sidle up to him, rubbing my hands and speaking of the beloved stage race. That Tipper, such a jokster! When I asked him if he’d put any thought into what his first few breakfast trays will consist of, he seemed genuinely befuddled, as if he had no idea that since he’s the newest inside sales rep, he must also provide breakfast for each stage in addition to purchasing the race. Well Tipper, just so we’re clear, after speaking with Heather, your MANAGER, if you refuse to pay for the Giro, she’ll deduct it from your paycheck in addition to the breakfasts and any supplemental Giro reading material. Luckily for Justin, I took the liberty of borrowing his Confederated Sorghum Holdings Traveler Checks and signed him up myself. With that out of the way, I can get out the old Basso Book and hang up the Menchov posters in my you-bicle.

By the way, all of our independent bicycle dealers are equally wonderful, but Bloggy was forwarded an article about a pretty cool shop opening in one of Bloggy’s favorite towns (Richmond). As usual, the article has some standard new-dealer-talking-points and the much-mentioned but always important ethos that a good bike shop should “create an experience”, preferably a good experience but inexplicably awful can also be quite memorable. I still remember being berated at Nemo’s Subs in a shadowy corner of Boston in 1997 for spending thirty seconds too long perusing their illegible handwritten menu board. “What are you, stupid?! Order or go to the back!!!” Best tuna salad I ever ate (that tasted nothing like tuna salad).Anyhoo, Carytown Bicycle Co. has their act together so pay attention burgeoning bike shop owners!