And A Child Shall Lead Them


Greetings and salutations gentle reader. A brief rumination today on “what constitutes child abuse”. Don’t let the question posed fool you as I wondered this aloud during Adam’s crit race last Friday. On the second lap of the 4/5 race mixed amongst the heaving masses was a figure I mistook for some breed of Raphaelean angel or perhaps something conversely nefarious, a Gremlin or Troll Doll. This “child” was sitting second wheel driving the peloton’s pace with the unwavering cruelty of a being far older than its physical appearance. The men, oh how they suffered under his tyrannical machinations that afternoon. Well versed in cruelty, neuromancy and Asheville drum circles, I recognized the distinct Industry Nine kit and assumed this “child” was simply and transmogrified Drew Hager sandbagging before the start of the 2/3 race. Before I could put my suspicions to rest with a Scooby Doo-styled mask removing of the erroneous “child” rider, I was forced to extricate a companion who found himself sitting in a public fountain. Ah, the joys of the 4/5 race! The final sprint turned into a massacre as a young racer from College Of Charleston got the jump on the older folk and eased to the victory. I even liked his “Don’t blame me” victory pose. Chapeau!

I nicknamed the child rider, Dr. Murder…

I had trouble finding Adam amongst the rabble until I saw #GETRAD. Easily the best “bibmessage” in the race…

A flat tire, an unnecessarily stopped race bike and a 2/3 going the wrong way on course during the race. What is this, Amateur Hour At The Apollo?!

Perfectly good bike lane that nobody bothers to use. Sheesh, cyclists!

To the victor go the spoils and perhaps the sweaty old race judge waiting to clothesline him…

One comment

  1. spokejunky

    It’s like they tilt shifted for just that one guy.

    Oh and CofC…sorry, DQ, hands on bars at all times.