The Finer Things In Life, Socks and Seven Pound Shelf Crushers

Last night, the Hawley sales reps and vendors met for food and libations at a local downtown eatery. The flagons overflowed and the mutton was torn apart by hungry fingers. Bloggy found himself seated next to an unusually garrulous supply chain analyst who insisted upon showing me photos of her children and “newly acquired” grandchild. After a rambling discourse on the advantages of soft skulls, resulting telekinesis and their effect on modern helmet designers, I was shown a picture of what happens when somebody who works in the bicycle industry runs out of ideas for Christmas gifts for a large family. They’re called Defeet Woolie Boolies and based on personal experience in addition to several testimonials, one can say with the same assuredness provided by the Woolie Boolie’s robust heel stitching that they are a universally loved stocking stuffer. Behold this photo Bloggy assured our supply chain analyst would be bloggified:

Most of you have received a copy or will be receiving a copy or are thinking about receiving a copy of our brand new 2012 catalog (CATL1050 and CATL1055). Avoiding the hyperbole and aggrandizement that pervades the bicycle industry, Bloggy shall simply say that this is without a doubt our best catalog ever and easily surpasses the future-hamster-cage-lining catalogs put out by our respected distribution peers. As usual, the layout is clean, concise and easy to navigate. Every bullet point was painstakingly handcrafted by a sleep deprived product manager at gunpoint. The photos are all oil painting interpretations of the original product with occasional holograms and Al Jaffe-esque fold-ins added for variety. Every tenth catalog box was sealed with glue made from the remains of Secretariat. Kosher catalogs available by request. In short, this is one special catalog so make sure to inquire with us or if you’re a customer, ask your dealer for a looky-loo and discover what shipping department’s Mary Nance’s nickname is on page 590!

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