I ate three curried beef chalupas washed down with a 64 ounce Diet Mountain Dew a few minutes before my race to provide the fuel my body would need. As luck would have it, there was a fresh porta-john near the staging area waiting to be desecrated with my spicy innards. No regrets baby, no regrets. Stink fumes are barely visible.
During the race, there was a particularly drunken group of hecklers who were giving out drug-laced Twizzlers to unsuspecting riders and children alike. While I enjoy the works of Carlos Castaneda, I have no interest in living through them, let alone racing in them. I prefer my psychedelic desert landscapes like everybody else, airbrushed on the side of a Chevy van outside my Uncle Chico’s house.
The Twizzler crew, chased from the tree barriers make camp on one of the climbs. I asked them for a beer and heard audible gasps of disbelief. Prudes!
I passed this fellow on both days. I nicknamed him The Ogre. The racer next to him was six foot ten inches tall, 290 pounds. They say the Ogre’s frame was fashioned from leftover Alaskan pipeline materials and welded together by a wizard. There is also a good chance he tried to kill me and eat my bones on lap 2. But keeping my wits about me, I escaped the ogre on a right hand turn and left him to the hapless Twizzler hecklers.
The tree barriers were treacherous for many a racer. Their height made traversing them a choice between climbing over them or leaping while their width made portage a tricky affair. Needless to say, I made sure to approach these with caution.
As I alluded to yesterday, I made the mistake of passing a gentleman close to the finish, thus setting myself up for an embarrassing sprint finish. As luck would have it, I found a picture of the intrepid racer and opportunist. Those curried beef chalupas were banging outside the proverbial gates and I had no time for last place glory.
And just as my race started in the proverbial crapper on the 98th row, it ended in the proverbial crapper too! You can’t plan on these things happening folks. Once again, thanks to Jose and American Classic for helping me procure the Carbon 58 wheels. Also big ups to Paul S. for welding a frame I’m not worthy to race on!