Bloggy had the pleasure of riding 40 miles in the bucolic surroundings of Bent Creek this past weekend. A gathering of young and old cycling enthusiasts astride cyclocross bikes with a few mountain bikes thrown in for good measure would battle against each other, every man/woman for him/herself to see who would be sacrificed to the bee gods. The format: Six checkpoints with a bonus checkpoint perched high atop Mt. Pisgah. A staggered start for each rider to keep folks from partnering up in addition to the required choice between two possible checkpoints at each checkpoint. Checkpoints were denoted by trail name. It was up to the rider to figure out where exactly on the trail the checkpoint would be. Bloggy was second last to leave. I waved goodbye to Jay (Asheville REI honcho) and got my choice between Explorer Loop or Rocky Cove. Rocky Cove was closer so that would be the first choice. As I made my way, I ran into Herb (Charlotte flatlander) who was doubling back. Since we were both headed to Rocky Cove, we road together to the first checkpoint where costumes were donned and dancing to Lady Gaga commenced for approximately 30 seconds. After being humiliated, we made our way towards Explorer Loop and on a steep downhill, I lost Herb’s wheel. A creek crossing and a fork in the trail forced me to get the map out. My route to Explorer would be Deerfield Loop then Pine Tree Loop. I jumped onto Explorer and decided to ride counterclockwise hoping I’d see the checkpoint. After a bit, I reached checkpoint 2 which consisted of 25 “burpees”, a sadistic form of push-up. I struggled through this humiliation and got my choice of either going to Greens Lick or Wolf Branch trail. I chose Greens Lick (proximity) and climbed up a nasty fire road to the bottom of the trail and tackled my third checkpoint, a word jumble. After some mumbling about “my oxygen deprived brain”, I bid farewell to the fiendish puzzle and rode the brutal 3 mile climb to Bent Creek Gap. Towards the top, the climb ramps up bigtime. It hurt but I knew my next checkpoint was close at hand. Upon arrival, I was informed I still had another 8.5 miles up the parkway to checkpoint 5 (bonus) before I could do checkpoint 4. I mulled this over, shrugged my shoulders and commenced to climbing towards Mt. Pisgah. The first couple miles were a steady grind but at the junction with 151, the incline hit a 12% grade and my spirits cratered. It was warm, traffic was picking up and my legs were toast. I managed to hold it together and arrived at the dumpy convenience store at the summit. I got my checkpoint sticker, ate a Watchmacallit bar, chatted with Mark (Weaverville resident and mountain bike legend), bought a postcard inside the shop and mailed it to the race organizers, ate a Butterfinger and headed back down the mountain. As I descended like nobody’s business, I passed a bedraggled Teenwolf just starting the 151 portion of the climb. He was in the hurt locker and he deserved every second of it. A few miles “downstream”, I passed Joshie and local rider Andrea climbing together. I thought of their partnering as cheating in both a competition and Biblical sense. They sickened me. So back to Bent Creek Gap and after completing a watercolor painting of a flower, I got my 5th checkpoint sticker and headed to Lower Sidehill trail for the sixth checkpoint. Upon arriving, I encountered a bewildered man-child who mumbled something about a “checkpoint” and “Kahlua”. After a few giant gulps of the sputum laced toxin and my sixth checkpoint sticker, I met Mark and Herb again and we rode together to Wolf Branch trail. After what seemed like an interminable root fest, we saw the last checkpoint of the day: construct a basket out of pipe cleaners to hold a raw egg safely on your bike. I did my best with this and ended up with something from Alexander Calder’s worst nightmares, but an egg holder nonetheless. More Wolf Branch, a few more turns and we rode triumphantly across the finish line, EGGS INTACT!!! Jerm (former Hawley stooge, now Cane Creek Double Barrel boss man), Chris (Cane Creek sales kid), Jay and Lauren (Jerm’s significant other) were already in civilian duds. Well, at least I finished. There is always, and there most definitely will be, next year. Huzzah!
Rob (former Thomson engineer and designer of many a stem and seatpost) gets last second navigation tips whilst Josh creeps.
Wrapping up at Checkpoint Gaga. Note the pink feather boa and sparkle top hat…
Rhodo tunnel before the Push Up checkpoint.
The top of Mt Pisgah, where I assumed my corpse would be found and subsequently buried and then desecrated.
Atop Mt. Pisgah, a distraught Mark polishes off a bag of chips after eating a package of tuna with his bare hands. FREAK!
Cane Creek headset engineer Jim rips off a quick Thomas Kincaid at Checkpoint Amaretto Sour.
Miami Vice styled egg holder.
Race winner Jay’s ingenious egg holder/water bottle cage. 
i kinda miss home after this one. looked like another good race, and great turn out. i see still no dicky . . . must be scared.
Ah the Rhododendron Tunnel of Love atop what looks to be Laurel. I am impressed you rode those trails with the Lobster.
We tried to subsidize Dicky’s speedy return from altitude training in Breckenridge, but he was having none of it. All bets were off when the start got moved from noon to a much less civilized 10 a.m. — the flight from CLT would have landed at 11:30.