Bike To Work Rally Photo Bomb: During Ride Excellence

A toddler in a baby trailer equates to “nobody is going to make an unsafe pass on these two” and consequently, “babies are somewhat lazy”

Hello there.

Lost in a miasmatic cloud of rumination, El Jefe culls through his databanks, searching for a tasty new nugget of distributionarial insight.

Inspiration achieved, he dances on his pedals and unleashes attack after attack upon a hapless peloton. “Stick to my wheel or I take your desk chairs away for 6 weeks!!!” Many are shed, many are shelled, some are tickled.

Bonnie attempts to maintain contact with the peloton up Mont Gilbert. The team director car is nowhere to be seen and the broom wagon looms ominously in the corner of her eye. It is safe to say, Bonnie’s contract is in jeopardy for next season.

At the ends of their collective rope, Tony (inside grumbling, sales miscreant) and J-Town counterattack the peloton only to see their efforts neutralized by a fat guy on a Vespa.

Tony’s musette bag, scavenged from the flaming body of a dead hobo discovered in a ditch… on the way to the ride. Seriously, can our friends at Chrome get this guy something that doesn’t smell like Robert Parish’s high tops? Or at least smell like Danny Ainge’s high tops?

Last climb of the day. With the peloton in shreds and the support vehicles abandoned and left for the C.H.U.D.S, the police officers take control… BY GETTIN’ THE HECK OUTTA THERE (just kidding ya’ll)

See the rider in the bright red shirt? The one on the far right? Astride the gold bike? No idea who he is but he’s still got my wallet. El Hefe’s words, not mine!

Right to left, Rachael, Zebulon, Cragnor The Face Mangler, T-76 and His Eminence…

Left to right: Matthew (Product manager, functionally illiterate), Doug (new sales customer service coordinator, born without a last name as is the custom with the Yaqui indians), Megan (new product manager, roller derby zealot), Tony Stone (goon), Jose (mega-goon), Carmen (Product manager, Jose’s sweetie pie) and Zach (Hawley).

JoAn (HR, far right) pedals furiously to catch Ben to yell at him for screwing up his timecard, yet again.

Matt Church (accounting thaumaturge) coasts the entire route using the unconditional love of a good woman to power him up the climbs.

Sensing great power, J-Town tries to jump into Matt’s psychic slipstream. Matt big rings the parasite into the netherworld.

We lost three riders who accidentally took the on-ramp to Interstate 20, never to be seen agaaaaaaaaain. Happy Halloween!