Pumpkin carving contest. Nay. THROW-DOWN. Double Nay. THUNDERDOME. The best and brightest of the greatest generation… of bicycle parts distributors came to together (after much cajoling, thank you Bonnie, aaaaand threats of violence, thank you Dr. Ragefist Bloodtooth) this afternoon for a “winner takes all” competition that combined knife wielding skill, mental agility and wildly unstable artistic temperaments that “sculpted” the careers of other greats like Bernini and Rodin. Judging is underway as these words are typed. The grand prize? $52,000.00, cash, no questions asked. Second place? 30 dollar gift certificate to Kohl’s. (thank you Adam). Third place? Sandy Emmanuel’s ghost costume/burka. Have an austere and somewhat moist weekend.