Interbike Set-Up, VIP Night!

patrick_pizza

I have no idea what’s going on in any of these photos but Kevin sent them to Bloggy and said they were most definitely Interbike-related. A few snaps of booth setup and a few snaps of our Hawley crew partying with the Cycles Lambert crew and various VIPs. Enjoy!

catlike_booth

eclypse_booth

evo_booth_2

evo_booth_3

evo_booth

Christian Heule sighting!

christian_heule_eclypse

northwave_booth

rally_crowd

A few snaps of folks enjoying libations and quality conversation at our VIP night…

brian_pint

dennis_matt_jeff

derrick_sarah

jose_bronson

lambert_folks

steve_creeps_on_lambert

teenwolf_group  wagster_herb

trey_glenn

vip_party

Pilfering El Hefe, Interbike Snaps

gambling_grandma

Behold, via Steve Hawley, the creation of our megalithic Interbike booth from soup to nuts in a couple of days! Also behold a few other random snaps sent to me by various employees. Well, mostly Matt Tag (customer service) as his job denotes, would be in the greatest personal danger so constantly documenting his whereabouts and condition would make it easier for the police to solve his imminent abduction and subsequent ransom (worst case scenario: in case of dismemberment, we can match body parts to photo body parts). To quote our outside sales manager Ian Cross, “We’ve never paid for a customer service manager’s ransom without authenticated proof of life. Sure, we’ve gone through customer service managers like Kleenex but them’s the rules ya’ll. Proof of life or no cash.”….

Jose inexplicably posted this photo of his flight because what’s more interesting than the inside of a plane? Is that an improvised trash bag hanging off a doorknob? DISGUSTING.

10685460_10204651751324137_2639698814049335707_n

Matt Tag and Charles carry some of our EVO bikes to the showroom floor. Obviously nobody got the Augustine Memorandum: collared shirts must be worn at all times. Scumbags.

10371424_687517797516_5278138186318955665_n

The Hawley-Lambert sign above our booth weighs 49 tons and was designed by famed artist Christo. It is for sale after the show for 700,000 dollars. But you won’t buy it you art hating cheapskate.

10704016_10152655318906265_755003880498339239_n

10670066_10152655318811265_1607815451136609645_n

Look at product manager Matt (far right)! Aimlessly wandering around without a care in the world. But oh Matt, your halcyon days will soon come to an end when you come back to the mothership and discover your Confederared Calipari travelers checks are WORTHLESS!

image

Completed Hawley-Lambert booth with people and automatons standing in various poses of discursiveness and ennui. Wait a sec, we’re carrying a cargo trike? Hot corn!

10645172_10152655318706265_3907884953623818342_n

Our good buddies at Fuelbelt win the award for “Retina Searing Colorsplosion”

photo 22

Our friends at Campagnolo (the G is silent) came in second in the Retina Searing Colorsplosion with their Giro-winning, Quintana-ridden Canyon bike…

IMG_0894

Protein.

10649943_10203065864472390_5409198390310087554_n

More Protein.

IMG_2607

 

 

Pre-Interbike Mayhem

Product Manager John D. is all packed up and ready for Interbike with the most ostentatious luggage on the planet!

ogio_bag

Don’t let the title of this blog post fool you. Truth be told, the usual amount of pre-Interbike mayhem has been kept to a minimum this year. The ritual sacrifices, the self-immolations, the endless games of ping pong have kept everyone relatively subdued. If you’re going to Interbike, Hawley will be sharing a booth with our brothers from another mother(land), Lambert. Ogio, Northwave, Catlike and EVO Bikes will also be snuggled up in our corporate hidey hole. We’ll also have some special promotions and events during the week to pique our dealers’ interest (“Personally Shame an Outside Sales Rep” and “What’s in Teddy’s Colon?” should be big hits this year). So if you’re in Vegas or trying to escape it, swing by booth #11063 and introduce yourself! On an unrelated note, inside sales goon JT sent Bloggy this bizarro instance of bicycle industry doppelgangery! Which one is our beloved Tony Stone and which one is from a shop JT knows?

stone2

stone

(late edit. Bloggy realized after publication that Tony Stone’s doppelganger should be  called Tony Clone)

Lunch Ride Rumination

worf_robert_mcnamara

A few years ago, Bloggy ran a fansite called “The Fog of Worf”. It was an amalgam of Star Trek the Next Generation episode recaps and in-depth discussions pertaining to the Nash Equilibrium and Cold War strategies (as they were applicable to Star Trek the Next Generation episodes in which Worf played a significant role, which was approximately six episodes). After approximately 789 posts and a total of 8000+ hours of blogging, “The Fog of Worf” folded up shop in august of 2009 with a total of 11 visits and 2 members (Myself and a man sentenced to death row in Oklahoma whose only post was “I did not get my spaghetti O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this”). If the preceding sentences were true, I would be the saddest blogger alive. Luckily, it is completely false and I am of this post still content if not somewhat hungry. However, the the spectre of sadness is always around us, even in the most mundane activities, like a lunch ride (or blogging about Robert McNamara and Worf’s eerily similar hair styles). Picture it in your internet-pornography-filled mind: There I was, minding my own business when some sort of Lilliputian railroad spike jumped from the tarmac and penetrated my beloved Michelin Lithion. It was totally crappy. But wait, there’s more crappiness. Said spike not only violated my Lithion in a most violent manner, but also had the audacity to sink itself even further into my rim tape AND THE RIM ITSELF! Distraught, I slow-rolled/walked the bike back to the office and displayed the vulcanized injury to my fellow coworkers. Everybody was aghast yet KEVIN refused to change the flat for me, even when I offered him money and fabulous prizes. I threw the bike down and went to shower room 2-B to sob myself to sleep. This post has been a bit, umm, schizophrenic, so I’d just like to say in closing that when Kevin leaves for Asheville today, I’m setting his desk on fire.

This is where people come to practice cyclocross and ride horses… SIMULTANEOUSLY.

lobster_cx_practice_fieldlobster_farmcali_sock_dub_marley

Look at this bastard. Gonna need some birthin’ forceps, a quart of rot gut and a whole lotta elbow grease to pop this sucker out!

mega_nail

Escapism

Zack Hawley (customer service minion): Hey Matt, I need tomorrow off.

Matt Tag (customer service manager): Ummm, yes. And what perchance is the reason for this absence?

Zack Hawley: I’m attending that customer service workshop in Atlanta you’ve been going on and on about.

Matt Tag: Ah, well if that’s the case young man, pleasant travels! May you learn much!

(8 hours later, Zack emailed a photo from the workshop with the text “Cant believe I scored front rows! #mylifeiscomplete”)

zack_hawley_one_direction

 

Rick Flare

charles_flare

Yesterday was the monthly Handlebar Happy Hour meeting. A small but dedicated crew of Hawleyites rode from bucolic Old Shandon to not-so-bad New Shandon for an evening of beer, food, bicycles and karoake speaker infused public speaking. As the speaker crackled to life (emitting ghosts of forgotten power ballads and Right Said Fred scream-a-thons), Bloggy remembered the evening’s sponsor New Belgium was raffling off a free cruiser bike! Zounds! S’Blood! Before Bloggy could swap excitement-soiled trousers to clean ones, the drawing was made in tandem by local shop thugs Tim Malson and Brian Curran, and the bike was awarded to a man NOT named Bloggy. I quelled my rage chewing on a soiled bar napkin and simmered in my own angst for another 40 minutes whilst Teddy and José talked me off the ledge. Imploring a higher power for cruiser justice, I shook my fists at the sky, read the innards of a butchered chicken and quietly adjourned to a local backyard for an apertif of road flares and marshmallows. La dolce vita? Photographs now follow the account:

crusier

jose_newbelgiumspeaker

Instead of a cruiser, I got some New Blegium chapstick which I used later in the evening after being propositioned by some of our warehouse guys.

newblegium_lip_balm

There’s the winner with his cruiser and some giggling halfwit who writes the Hawley Blog.

kenny_newbelgium_cruiser

The fire wasn’t raging to Chuck’s satisfaction so he brought out the road flares to expedite the process. In addition to the noxious black cloud and odor, the flare burned for a a solid 20 minutes!

charles_flare_placement

flare  shed_lights

Per his usual tradition José finished his evening at Menkoi ramen house with a steaming bowl of ____ !

ramen