Happy Trails Kevin, Please Stop Foisting Your House Garabage On Us

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Today is Kevin’s (product videos) last day at Hawley. When he started a year and a half ago, he insinuated himself into Hawley like a trichina worm, burrowing his way into the meaty flesh of our operations and setting himself up in the video position in a manner that could at best be described as parasitic. Like the porcine interloper, he grew and grew, growing stronger in his video skills and post-production genius. Spoiled NOW bars from the Reagan administration always found a way to his desk and were consumed with relish. Cast off parts from others’ bikes that were deemed unsafe ended up installed on his personal bikes before you could say “this (insert bike part) sucks!”. Yes, Kevin was (and is) a curious fellow, but his eccentricities and penchant for necrophilia aside, he will be sorely missed by everyone in the office. Well, maybe not JBK who broke his shoulder in two at Kevin’s urging. But other than JBK, and some folks in accounting and a couple guys in shipping and most of the sales department and several members of purchasing and the guy with the mustache at the deli who always scowled at Kevin whenever he gave his order, he will be sorely missed. Happy trails Kevin, may you find happiness and gainful employment in Portland! Here are assorted photos of Kevin in no particular order:

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Hendersonville UCI Cyclocross

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The Hendersonville UCI cyclcoross race was this past weekend. Last year was complete carnage as low temperatures, rain and mud kept the course “inhospitable”. This year, the sun was shining, the mud was virtually non-existent and the course was fast. In other words, it was a power course. Hawley’s Joshie was the only work representative in the cat 2/3 race. He rode admirably but the speed at the front definitely put the screws on the rest of the field. A clearly exhausted Josh pulled up after his race and grunted some monosyllabic sounds and then went straight for his post-race cooldown. The pro women’s race was fairly boring as a racer from Sellwood Cycle Repair gapped the field and soloed to victory. It was cool to see Britlee Bowman racing for Richard Sachs. We sponsor their cyclocross team with Northwave shoes. We couldn’t have been prouder. She barely missed the top 10 Saturday but then powered her way to a top five on Sunday. The men’s race was a little more exciting. A selection was made after a few laps and the irascible Kerry Werner pulled out the win in front of a quasi-hometown crowd. Richard Sachs rider Dan Timmerman got another podium spot but Bloggy missed his chance to get a photo taken with the iconoclastic rider. Maybe next year Dan?

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Does Kevin ever stop working? Give it a rest kiddo, you’re outta here in 4 days!

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Josh might’ve not had the best race, but he’s number one when it comes to pinning numbers.

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This line was a mess last year. This year, it was inconsequential.

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This sign’s warning was well-heeded.

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Nothing says “UCI” like a man racing in a purple cape and matching kit.

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This is a malamute. It’s super fluffy and gentle-natured. As a breed, they hate cyclocross.

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Sponsored rider Britlee Bowman grimaces/smiles her way towards “The Wall”…

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Senseless product placement. We love Camelbak!

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The Charlotte cyclocross crew passed out these things.

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Tipper: The most dangerous game

“I wanted an ideal animal to hunt,” explained the general. “So I said: ‘What are the attributes of an ideal quarry?’ And the answer was of course: ‘It must have courage, cunning, and, above all, it must be able to reason. Also, it needs to be skinny with a beard.'”

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Bring Your Dog To Work and Office Nerf Gun Stress Relief Day

Cal (customer service minion, suspect Cat 3 roadie, beardist) brought his dog Dundee into work today. Dundee is an Australian shepherd mix. He’s really smart but doesn’t have any of the weird genetic stuff that happens with the pure breeds so he’s that much more amazing. Dundee is nine years old which is mid-60s in human years but he romps and skidoo’s like a pup! Crimony, Bloggy loves this dog!

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Behold, mental focus beyond our puny human capacity. Dundee, you are a GOD!

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Behold, Dundee exhibits the human emotion of shame.

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Here’s ole Zack Hawley doing a mega-creep on poor old Dundee. He’s just doing his job like everybody else Zack, so lay off! By the way Zack, your cubicle looks like a landfill.

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Dundee exhibits the human emotion of over-the-shoulder mega-pouty face. He learned this from Rutger Hauer’s character in “Blade Runner”.

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In related news, 2/5 of the marketing department plus 1/8 of the purchasing department went to the Red Bank Walmart (yup, let that sink in) in order to find a Nerf gun for Kevin. Patrick insisted we look in the Hello Kitty/Barbie aisle first until his ruse was discovered. Treachery! After several minutes and several nervous shoppers hurrying by with fear/confusion in their eyes, Kevin settled on your standard multi-round 90 footer hand cannon. Happy Hanukkah!

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Test run: Crotch shot!

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This intrigued me:

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Have a frank and productive weekend. Play us the heck outta here Patrick!

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Queen City Cyclocross: Embrace The Carnage

With nothing to do, Bloggy drove up to Charlotte and watched 200 metric tons of red clay-infused mud terraform a once bucolic city park into a primeval wasteland. In addition, a cyclocross race broke out! Joshie was the only Hawleyite who raced but there were several shop employees and industry leeches espied from the parcours. Sometimes it’s better to let the photos do the talking…

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Bring Your Dog To Work: Homer

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Wait a second, it’s Friday already? What happened to Wednesday? Where did Thursday go? Where are my pants? Bloggy is so confused. Time travel conspiracy theories aside, even though I find this gaping hole in my weekly timeline most unsettling, I’ll take a Friday over a Monday any day of the week, especially if it’s Friday. Now that we’ve settled that, it’s time to introduce our weekly furry office visitor. This week’s special guest is Teddy’s (Marketing Manager) dog Homer. Homer is an Australian Shepherd. He’s only 7 months old so he’s still got a lot of hyperactivity and curiosity that comes with that age group. Bloggy and Phil agreed that Homer looks like a Muppet come to life, which is pretty awesome if you think about it. He’s our Muppy Puppy!

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Desperately searching for Teddy…

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Homer, what have they done with your tail? Have you misplaced it?!

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Homer passed the Jose test… and earned his love… forever.

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Have a frank and productive weekend, see ya’ll at the Queen City Cyclocross race Sunday. Patrick, play us the heck outta here!

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