Dana requested her precious dragon/lizard costume be featured yet again. Brian, product manager, sar-dragon:
Andre, Shipping, Reptile:
Mystery Cake
Posted: 31st January 2012 by The Ghost of Jerry Reed in Daily RamblingsTags: Cyclocross
This cake appeared in the Hawley Beta Breakroom today. Questions were asked, walnuts were consumed:
I know I intimated no more posts about cyclocross because road and mountain season are in full swing (for some, they never ended) and most of our dealers haven’t sold a single cyclocross related product in days/hours. That being said, after a lot of hand wringing and collar tugging, I was able to find a spot with solid WiFi and reasonably priced caffeinated beverages Sunday morning for the World Champioship. Of course, the REAL race was the day before (Beloften) as Lars van der Haar showed off the Dutch might that made the East India Company the scourge of commerce during a 45 minute duel with Belgium’s Wietses Bosmans. On the last lap, things got chippy if not downright rude. Van Der Heijden bridged up and then “things” started happening. Mainly Bosmans shoulder checks Van Der Heijden (4:57) and then more shoulder rubbing, but not of a sensual variety, but of a “I’m freakin’ out!” variety. It was old fashioned, last-person-standing, bare knuckle racing the kind a dum dum like Nick Saban could relate to (ie, DIRTY). Van Der Heijden starts passing in the sand and then Bosmans sends his bike perpendicular. Hey, sometimes things just happen, don’t make this weird man. Link to the final lap embedded in the last screenshot. You be the judge…
Speaking of dirty tactics and kill-or-be-killed mindsets, no stranger to the thunderdome that is the Receiving Department, today is Dave’s last day at Hawley. Dave’s weapon of choice in the Receiving Thunderdome was a double ply clipboard and a serrated scalping cutlass dipped in cobra venom. Fare thee well Dave, you are dead to me.
Koksijde, 1994 World Championships
Posted: 27th January 2012 by The Ghost of Jerry Reed in Daily RamblingsHave a frank and awesome Sunday…
Rage Against The Machinist
Posted: 26th January 2012 by The Ghost of Jerry Reed in The GoodsTags: Cyclocross, K-Edge
The great thing about cyclocross compared to mountain biking is that with the latter, when it’s nasty out, you’re advised to stay off the bike and give the trails some time to drain and with the former, the nastier it is the better because nobody cares about public parks, disc golf fairways and parking lots and apparently being covered in mud makes great photography subjects. While that isn’t technically true, it’s nebulousness and over-arching generality makes it seem true, so it is. After the “conditions” argument against mountain biking and for cross, mountain biking wins in every comparison. That being said, Bloggy can say that he is genuinely excited about this weekend’s world championship. No doubt we’ve read about the treacherous sand (and the Shai Hulud dwelling below), the huge crowds (40,000 tickets sold with another 10,000 counterfeits being printed up), the vast quantities of alcohol ordered (Kokaijde means “nature’s urinal in Flemish) and the American contingent looking to make their mark this year (I bet my left kidney Driscoll podiums). What we haven’t read about is where you plan on inviting Bloggy to view the race with you. I like waffles, grits, scrambled eggs, blueberry bagels, mimosas, french press anything and the less conversation the better so keep that in mind before you send me your evite. Also, I’m lactose intolerant and my silverware needs to be kosher. Keeping things on the Heule tip, here’s another gopro video from his Koksijde practice lap. This is a lovely lead-in (or lead-out) to mention the new-for-2012 Go Pro camera mounts from our machinist friends K-Edge. These are strong, lightweight and can be used on the bars or the saddle. The Go Pro adapter mount (SD9980) lets you attach your camera to things like skateboards or helicopter blades if cycling isn’t cutting it for you anymore but you still want to see some visual proof of your activites. HDBR9502 and HDBR9504 will satisfy your handlebar mount needs while SD9984 is for the saddle rail view, ie “that dude WAS staring at my backside, lasciviously!”…
Here’s some hot Go Pro action from Christian Heule…
Outside Sales Reps Know More Than You
Posted: 25th January 2012 by The Ghost of Jerry Reed in Daily RamblingsAdam, e-media, has made some new videos to introduce you to our outside sales strike force (all are available on the Hawley Youtube channel). Watching these expertly produced “shorts” will allow you to feel at ease when you encounter these animals in their native habitat. Don’t frighten or upset a sales rep. Be courteous, attentive, maintain constant eye contact and never try and explain anything to them, because they know more than you. For example, North Florida miscreant, Hollywood Hale let’s you gaze into his soul, but at a price!
Blatant Metaphor Tuesday With Outside Sales Heavy, Tony Wagster
Posted: 24th January 2012 by The Ghost of Jerry Reed in Daily Ramblings
There isn’t much that gets outside sales rep Tony Wagster excited. He’s been on the mean streets of bicycle part sales, pounding the pavement and pressing the flesh for 25 years. There isn’t a newfangled part he hasn’t seen and he’s seen everything because he’s an omniscient sales-bot that never ages. However, one new product for 2012 that had Tony extremely animated if not on the verge of an apoplectic seizure (literally) was the Blinder light from KNOG. The Blinder is just that: a blinder. Its compact yet powerful, concentrated blasts of retina-searing light makes a rider visible to bloodthirsty motorists but is small and fashionable (huh?) enough to appeal to a wide swath of cyclists. What do you think about cable-less, integrated USB charger? Waterproofing? We’ll give you a moment to gather the shards of brain tissue and skull from the Scanners-like head explosion I just dealt you. Dealers, pay careful attention to your print catalogs! PAGE 424 to be exact! In addition to lights, the Blinder counter set will arouse your customer’s interest and become a potent sales tool. The Blinder lights are so new, Knog doesn’t have them on their website so yet another reason to pick up a copy of the newest 2012 Hawley catalog. Who knows what other hidden gems are locked within its recesses (nude Troy Whelan stickers)
These images were grabbed from the Knog Blog so you, gentle reader, can get a sense of how these lights look when mounted:
Required Viewing From This Weekend
Posted: 23rd January 2012 by The Ghost of Jerry Reed in Daily RamblingsDagnabit! That Christian Heule whippersnapper is at it again!
The Finer Things In Life, Socks and Seven Pound Shelf Crushers
Posted: 19th January 2012 by The Ghost of Jerry Reed in Daily Ramblings
Last night, the Hawley sales reps and vendors met for food and libations at a local downtown eatery. The flagons overflowed and the mutton was torn apart by hungry fingers. Bloggy found himself seated next to an unusually garrulous supply chain analyst who insisted upon showing me photos of her children and “newly acquired” grandchild. After a rambling discourse on the advantages of soft skulls, resulting telekinesis and their effect on modern helmet designers, I was shown a picture of what happens when somebody who works in the bicycle industry runs out of ideas for Christmas gifts for a large family. They’re called Defeet Woolie Boolies and based on personal experience in addition to several testimonials, one can say with the same assuredness provided by the Woolie Boolie’s robust heel stitching that they are a universally loved stocking stuffer. Behold this photo Bloggy assured our supply chain analyst would be bloggified:
Most of you have received a copy or will be receiving a copy or are thinking about receiving a copy of our brand new 2012 catalog (CATL1050 and CATL1055). Avoiding the hyperbole and aggrandizement that pervades the bicycle industry, Bloggy shall simply say that this is without a doubt our best catalog ever and easily surpasses the future-hamster-cage-lining catalogs put out by our respected distribution peers. As usual, the layout is clean, concise and easy to navigate. Every bullet point was painstakingly handcrafted by a sleep deprived product manager at gunpoint. The photos are all oil painting interpretations of the original product with occasional holograms and Al Jaffe-esque fold-ins added for variety. Every tenth catalog box was sealed with glue made from the remains of Secretariat. Kosher catalogs available by request. In short, this is one special catalog so make sure to inquire with us or if you’re a customer, ask your dealer for a looky-loo and discover what shipping department’s Mary Nance’s nickname is on page 590!
This Saturday, 9:00 AM at the Harbison State Forest Ed center front parking lot for all local readers. Bring gloves and leave your inhibitions at the door. Wait, wrong tagline. Tools will be provided!